Things have been changing in my consciousness. There is something awakening and emerging in me. It is as if I am cresting a wave to a higher, more luminous and resonant state of awareness than I have ever known before.
It is the same feeling as when I underwent my Saturn return and finally accepted my identity. I left behind the struggling quest to discover who I was and realized with certainty, I AM. Now it is as if this quickening has come about again in my life in a much more intense and light-filled way. It is like this big "A-ha!" followed by peals of laughter at the obvious.
There is a feeling of "duh, I knew that!" within me, waking up to remember the infinite availability of sacred mysteries to me at all times. As if I have been asleep for 35 years, trying to wake up to what was already within me the whole time. For decades I sought to commune with these wisdom traditions through rituals, dance, studies, books, writings, prayers, visualizations, meditations. The whirling Christ Consciousness grid in my livingroom, the ascension books I am reading now ... all of it is collectively creating a shift inside me.
The acculumated focus of all the inner work I have done has opened a doorway of understanding. A dimensional portal has opened!
It feels to me like the world wide web has awakened within my physical body... as if my body is a computer permanently hooked into the collective unconscious with a strong wi-fi signal.
Cell phones, emails, letters, writing, books, spoken language -- all of these are superficial attempts by incarnated humans to experience this massive and permanent state of interconnectivity that links all physical and non-physical divine entities across time and space with the All that Is. The sensation comes to me more and more frequently as a realization.
For example, I think of the whales in my dream and realize that my longing to swim with them in the physical plane aren't really necessary.
I can connect to whales on another plane of consciousness and play and learn with them on an energetic level of light matrixes and sacred geometrical symbols of sound and color.
This came as a sudden experience as I lay down on my bed one day and suddenly connected to the spirit of the whale in a very specific and real way, and this feeling was followed by a gridlike sensation of traveling along longitude and latitude lines to a specific humpback whale in the ocean who was singing. Then came a feeling of entering a massive library of information, almost as crystals which vibrated in different ways transmitting light into my DNA, and with it sudden awareness.
The same thing has happened for people from my dreams whom I have never met in this lifetime, but long to connect with... an acceptance of having soul mates and a soul family on a non physical level. It is becoming habitual to actually take time to connect with these beings and allow communion and love to move back and forth between us, feeling their presence so strongly in my life. One being whom has come to me several times in my dream state has felt like a starbeing soulmate guide with whom I actually shared a lifetime in another time and space, but who is now looking over me while I live in this physical lifetime. In the dreams I had, I felt this incredible longing to be with this being, my twin flame, while I looked up into the stars in the sky and knew he was not of this world. He came to me again in my dreams over this past weekend.. a sense of absolute radiant love surrounded my entire body and I felt so connected to my divine counterpart. At the same time, there was compassion and joy from both of us about my current physical husband and our divine role together in this incarnated lifetime to learn our own soul lessons with each other.
It has been the same with the angel of my chihuahua who has been wanting to be in my life for some time now.
I accept that there is a precious divine angel whom is longing to come into my life physically to bring me joy and companionship and radiant support as my little friend, and I have been spending time communicating with this being, sending love and asking for patience as I realign the physical organization of my life to make space for this little bundle of love.
Sometimes I imagine walking with her through the park or holding her in my lap and I even see her glittering eyes, brimming with love. Until she can be with me in physical form, at least we can spend time together connecting on the astral planes!
So things are changing in me. Im feeling less attached to things in general. I am feeling a peacefulness in San Francisco I have never felt before. I was so attached to bolting out of the city and going to live in Marin as soon as possible, but suddenly it is as if this sense of inner calm has descended upon me. A knowingness that I will leave and replenish my spirit as needed... but that
for now I am called to anchor something in the place where I am and that I can instantly access the green and oceanic energy I am so hungry for through more luminous ways.
It is as if there is a voice in my mind saying, "there is important work to be done here..." I've even been called to consider getting a home space inside the city with the requirement that there is a private yard for a sauna, hot tub, nude sunbathing and a magic garden. Also, I clearly know the places I must travel for replenishment, and feel called to make arrangements as soon as possible, waiting for no one to be my travel companion except my guides: Sedona, Santa Barbara, Chicago to study with Sonia, Kauai, and back to the white beaches of Florida and the Caribbean to swim with dolphins and perhaps whales as well.
I am getting more comfortable dwelling in the invisible realms of light and owning my emerging consciousness and parapsychic interests. I am also realizing that the hoop teacher trainings I am doing and my own hoopdance instructional DVDs are crucially important for me to continue as part of my sacred work. Teaching and training hoopdance and teachers gives me a profound sense of connection to the All that Is as I surrender my personality and open myself up to creatively hold space for divine play. It is an obvious sense of "being on my path". This dawning of awareness came upon me while I hooped at the drum circle at Treasure Island near with my class of Tampa teacher training students. I felt so in tune with the rhythm of the music, the primal pull on my limbs and the vortexing hoop. I viscerally felt that hooping will always be a strong dance form for me in this lifetime, even if I take breaks from daily practice.
I clearly felt a familiarity with all the people I have ever trained, as if we have worked together, training in other mystical arts in other lifetimes. I clearly saw and felt that I had taught thousands in other lifetimes as well in a way which touched them deeply. I also saw that in this life, hooping was the most accessible and assimilable alchemical form we could share to raise the consciousness of the masses.
I was having this realization while dancing, seeing the hundreds of people dancing and drumming as I whirled in a blur, slipping and sliding in the sand, and slowly noticing that more and more people were at a standstill watching me on all sides.
I finally stopped and had some water and a student came up to me and said with excitement, "I understand why we all love your dance and get transfixed! You tap into something holy when you dance. You are transmitting something holy!" She was beaming with an ear to ear smile and twinkling eyes. I smiled and expressed humility to her and said thank you, and at the same time deep inside I knew it was true. That is the essence of what I am called to share.. how to transmit that feeling! Another student had said something to me while I was filming a performance for television .. she said, "your smile is so contagious! You are just shining pure joy and it feels so good to see it." Yes, something deep is at work.
A light transmission.
And I am also starting to feel called to articulate the performance as well now as a way of transmitting emotional, physical and spiritual energy... Suddenly, as well, divine helpers are showing up on all sides and this tells me, again, there is work to be done.
I feel clearly that I am serving in a positive way through this energetic gyrokinesis and that I must continue to empower women, specifically, to step into their capabilities as leaders, facilitators for transformation and sensual/spiritual awakening through the path of hooping as a a sacred life practice.
I also feel strongly called to gain more publicity for this spiralbased work and specifically to use a new languaging around the value of this new movement form... to up the ante in a way which has yet to be revealed to me.
So this is a very interesting development. Part of me was unsure what this whole psychic emergence was happening for in my life, wondering if it was drawing me away from hooping and taking me somewhere completely different. For now, I see clearly that both are very entwined in very significant way and that I have a lot of profound and creative work to yet to be manifested in the realm of hoopdance. I can't wait to to prepare for the unfoldment and see the surprises which await!
Today's image is a picture of me hooping up the dawn at Burning Man 2008 at the Philadelphia Experiement, the home of house on the playa.