light bliss

How to Feel All Your Sexual Feelings

Have you ever felt sexual attraction but tried to supress it? What would happen if you didn't? What if you actually allowed yourself to feel the full energy of sexual attraction as fuel for your aliveness? And... what if you told your partner the truth about all your sexual feelings for other people?

This was one of today's topics at the 5 day Conscious Loving Training by the Hendrick's Institute. One participant "admitted" he had sexual feelings for lots of women, but didn't know what to do with them. That's when Katie launched into some basics about human sexuality that we rarely learn in school.

It is healthy to have sexual feelings. Sexual feelings mean we are alive. Sexual feelings mean we have a human body! Sexual feelings are to be celebrated. Sexual feelings are good.

You cause your own sexual feelings. No one "elcits" or "triggers" feelings in you. Your body creates sensations based on it's own internal chemistry, memories and emotions. You are in charge and in control!

Your ability to feel and appreciate sexual feelings for other people is expanded by your ability to enjoy sexual feelings about yourself. By deepening self-love, self-appreciation and a general feeling of personal juiciness, you actually gain more access to life force energy. This awareness heightens your ability to share this energy with others.

Everyone feels sexual feelings and usually for people from both genders. We all feel a variety of physical sensations of arousal from when you are a baby and through old age. Supression of an awareness of this creates dysfunctional behaviors. 

Having sexual feelings for someone else while you are in a relationship is not betrayal. The difference between disloyalty and being alive with sexual feelings is distinguished by acknowledhing feelings versus taking unconscious action. You can create aliveness through agreements to tell your partner the truth of what you are feeling and to hear their truth, and still share an agreement to maintain monogomy. Full disclosure creates integrity.

You can acknowledge sexual feelings by breathing deeply, moving your body to flow them throughout your nervous systerm and loving yourself for feeling sensation. Sexual feelings are an invitation to become embodied! They ask us to stay inside ourselves fully and savor sensation in new ways.

Revealing the truth to your partner about feeling sexual feelings for another can open a resevoir of creative energy to support your relationship. Yes! We often feel sexual energy for those who embody an aspect of aliveness which we yearn for. By connecting to the essence of our yearning and expressing our own aliveness in new ways, we can integrate the attaction.

My invitation to you is to feel more, love more and be honest. You can make love last by being authentic about having sensations. By being honest about feelings and having clear agreements, you can create solid foundations for conscious loving relationships...

My longing for you is that you experience profound love, incredible aliveness, and delicious depths of surrender and connection. Thanks to Katie for an inspiring day of love!

xoxo

Christabel 

 

 

 

 

 

How Transform Your Entire Life with One Commitment

I am ready to commit to living in my zone of genius. My heart is beating fast as I write this. My entire "ego" is about to go. Over time, I have created an identity based on controlling the completion of a massive amount of mundane tasks which don't truely require my participation. They distract me from profound creative urges which lie, latent inside me, begging for expression. What would it be like to truely let go of EVERYTHING except tasks in my realm of genius?

Living in the genius zone means commiting to doing ONLY the work with the highest ratio of abundance and satisfaction generated from the amount of time spent. Even small amounts of time spent doing it create massive personal fulfillment.

Here are just a few of the many distractions which mire my creative flow: Bookeeping, online order management, shipping and distribution, email account management, customer service, vendor management, booking travel, generating and aquiring new products, managing calendars, booking clients...  What do you suck at but persist in doing because it is familiar, you can control it and get the job done?

What would life be like if I was actually invest yourself 100% into your genius realm? Only those things which you do with with passion and inspiration which are olympian in scope? Imagine the surges of joy, creativity and energy available if you were prioritizing your genius...

While I have known about this "genius zone" for years, I have never had the courage to make the BIG LEAP until now. Starting on my upcoming birthday, I commit to living in this zone. A lot needs to change. I'll need to get help. I'll need to break through my habitual patterns of work hours, stratgies and living. It's going to be very uncomfortable. I will likely be scared. I have no idea how to make the transition. But how is irrelevant. Commitment reveals the how.

What activities are you doing which are filling up time and sapping your energy? What creative urges are asking for your time for full expression? What are you willing to let go of controlling to open up to the vast magnitude of inspiration and energy which awaits you? Will you join me in this spectacular challenge. 

Much love from the Hendricks Training in Southern California,

Cristabel

Harbin Hot Springs Invocation

I'm just back from 8 days at the lovely Harbin Hot Springs in Northern California. I am so grateful for this sanctuary! As I went from the blazing hot inner sanctum of the hot springs to the freezing cold plunge, I neared delerium. It was so hot and so cold, the only thing I could do was pray. This picture shows the HEART of the healing property, where the waters cook at 109 degrees. Here are some of the words that echoed through me as I wandered up and down the stairs, through the trees, into the wetness...

May I be purified on all levels, planes and dimensions.

May my body be strong.

May my heart be full of love.

May I expand my ability to receive.

May I give more than I ever thought possible.

May I overfow with generosity.

May I forgive easily.

May my Beloved be divinely protected.

May my family be blessed.

May my friends be graced with ease.

May I remember the reason I am here.

May I do the work I am called to do.

May I learn what I need to learn.

May I clean up every aspect of my life.

May I have the courage to open even more.

May my life have room for more angels.

May I release things that no longer serve.

May I be of the greatest service possible.

May I honor You in everything I do.

May I know how it feels to trust everything.

May I open to bigger miracles.

May I ask for help when I need it.

May I love myself unconditionally.

May I surrender.

May I let go.

May I be.

One.

The Disaster of Being Invincible: A Guide for Alpha Women And Those Who Love Them

There is a new type of warrior in America today: the invincible woman. Invincible women are those who play full out with life. These women have gigantic visions and a relentless drive. These are women who compulsively take on multiple projects. They are perpetually busy. In relationships and at work this is a woman rolls up her sleeves do it all! She often sees herself as being able to do everything faster and better than anyone around her. But there is a particular quality that separates "busy" women from invincible ones~ the latter think they need to do it all by themselves. Invincible women are the one's who say "no" when asked if they would like help. Meanwhile they carry the entire world on their shoulders and run themselves into the ground. I should know! I am a recovering invincible woman.

I speak on behalf of the women who masterfully excel at virtually anything they do. The women manifesting empires while working out, juggling relationships and dozens of other hobbies. I speak on behalf of all women who need to carry in that last grocery bag from the car. I speak on behalf of all women who compulsively exhaust themselves.

I have invincibility in my blood. My mom broke all the rules, eloped in the 60's to marry a black man and travelled the world. She was a woman of "firsts":  the first person in her family to get a college education, all the way through a PhD in Applied Mathematics. She blasted away the glass ceiling at the World Bank as one of the first women in charge of massive projects around the globe. On the side she had two children, divorced in the 70's when it was still a revolutionary act, bought her own home and became a marathon winner. In her free time on the weekends she rolled up her sleeves for home care: climbing ladders, painting, drilling holes, knocking down walls, planting a massive garden, mowing the lawn, chopping firewood, canning tomatoes for incredible traditional Italian meals. At nights and on weekends she spent amazing amounts of time with me and my brother, going to 4-H, horseback riding competitions and has since taken up arc welding, sculpting and orchid cultivation. Growing up with this gutsy role model taught me that being a woman means being fearless and daring while doing it all.

Are you as dazzled as I am by this list of accomplishments? I'm proud to be the daughter of an invincible woman!  She has taught me that anything is possible. Invincible women are superheroines in the US, where the American Dream promises freedom through hard earned success. This mentorship eliminated my self-doubts, allowed me to create idealistic visions and gave me the audacity to tackle the unthinkable and succeed. 

So, given how incredible this all is, what's the problem? The disaster of being an invincible woman is that it can require letting go of  a delicious, relaxed, and inviting feminine energy which allows one to receive. Here is where my own shady past comes in. When a woman wants to be in charge of everything, idolizes achieving, and moves like lightening there isn't a whole lot of space for a man to be a man or for friends to be friends. When I was hard instead of soft and driven instead of relaxed, romance dwindled. When I tried to do it all and stay in charge, I pushed away those who wanted to work or play with me. Here is my confession: I am not strong enough to be invincible. 

Thing is, invincible women often become invincible by letting go of needing. For an invincible women, letting go of needing is powerful. By letting go of the need for rest, nourishment, and support, you express strength.

The dictionary defines invincible as, "too powerful to be defeated or overcome: ie, an invincible warrior."  This is where I get curious. As women, are we at battle? Are women struggling to avoid defeat? What is true power? Is being overcome "bad"? Why are we fighting a battle? And is our life force energy best invested into being warriors? 

So here is the promised guide for alpha women and those who love them.

10 ideas to contemplate and share...

1. Enjoy having needs.

2. Play with asking for help

3. Have fun with surrender. 

4. Dream into resting more.

5. Experiment with letting go.

6. Explore softening as strength.

7. Savor receiving and saying yes.

8. Consider how much less really is.

9. Appreciate how competent everyone is.

10. Wonder about how you can  let others be in charge.

The battle isn't over. While I've apprenticed to those who masterfully nap, cultivate chaos, ask for more and loose control, I still have my moments of invincibility. It is an amazing gift. Invincibility is an invitation to deepen the art of being a woman~ a luscious being who compels through invitation, who leads by feeling more emotion and builds trust through vulnerability. I bless all invincible women, and my hope for us is that we can be truly free.

 

The Truth About "Me"

"Me" is boring. I've done "me" for decades. I've designed my life around me for as long as I can remember. I've put my priorities first.

I've scheduled my trips to work all over the globe. I've created my business to feed my passions. I've focused on my goals. I've focused on my visions. Me, me, me. Don't get me wrong, I've had a blast and grown a lot. I've helped a lot of people. But there is a whole world beyond the "me-land" of my spiritual growth, my service, my teaching carrer, my health and nutrition...

Now I'm in love. Deep. And "me" is like that irritating song that comes on the radio that you just have to change immediately. I am looking at my travel calendar for the next 2 months and I can hardly stand myself. Where do I even have room for a relationship? I've boxed myself into a little corner of "me-ness" between non-stop engagements in San Francisco, Middletown, Santa Cruz, Ecuador, Joshua Tree, Hawaii and Mexico.

Ms.Independent is finally over it and ready for a change. But where do you begin when your lifestyle revolves around feeling strong, safe and important by being overly busy? One of my spiritual teachers, Lama Marut, says that busyness is a form of laziness. Yes... busyness has historically been my drug of choice. A delusional way of feeling "good enough" amidst the chaos of life.

Now a legendary love has taken me by the shoulders and given me a good shaking. I'm disoriented. My initial plans to use 2012 as my "year to live" experiement, living this year as if it was my last, have been thrown off kilter. 

I thought my last year to live would involve DOING all the things I always wanted to do. Things that always felt dreamy, but out of reach. So I did~ I've gone for my certifiction in life coaching. I went to Costa Rica for a month and immersed in breathwork at Pacha Mama. I went to Bali and lived for months. And then... 

Then... love walked in. I fell in love with Bali. I fell in love with breathwork ceremonies. And I fell in love with a beautiful man. Now there's an ache.  I'm apart from all these loves. I'm missing.

I'm thinking of my soul family. I'm remebering all the Wayans in Ubud and wondering how they are. For the first time, I'm longing to talk things over with my partner before making decisions. There is a warrior in me ready to put down her sword of truth in exchange for a rose...

I want depth instead of breadth. I want stillness instead of motion. I'm wanting to listen instead of talk. I'm longing to soften open instead of brace against life. I'm craving hand-holding. Im hungry for partnership, home, life and community in every possible way. And I'm releasing reluctance to feel desire, itself. I'm letting myself feel all the missing, vulnerability and suppleness which wants to happen through me.

Somewhere in all of this I am realizing that "a year to live" isn't so much about doing, but rather, it's about being. Being in love. Being open. Being sad, open, happy, angry, at peace. Being soft. Being connected. Being raw. Being with everything...