light bliss

Kauai-Kuan Yin-Kali

I am utterly transformed by my latest journey to Kauai-Kuan Yin-Kali. The mermaids have been calling Her this name because Kauai is certainly an island… but also a conscious, living being with a powerful personality. Kauai is an experience unlike anything I have known… a geographic location and also a powerful spirit guide with startlingly clear information to share.

I experience this communication through chance encounters, conversations, the weather, the physiology of the dirt, flowers, rocks, clouds, waterfalls and beaches, the fruits, the fish, in daydreams and night visions. Often just listening to others speak or simply watching them triggers a tremendous “a-ha”.

Kauai-Kuan Yin-Kali stimulates extreme transformation by holding up mirrors. On one hand, she holds up a vision of pure beauty through paradise. I feel a shimmering, delicious awareness of my most pure divine nature while bathing and walking in her majesty. Her colors download frequencies of exhilaration, her opulent ripeness teaches sensuality and full feminine flowering. She generously inspires a rainbow array of creative ideas. Her lush warm weather softens the body and invites deep relaxation and healing. These realizations are fun and exhilarating, blessed high sensations of invincibility, prayerful connectedness, love and laughter.

But…Kauai also requires that I consider my shadow. Gently at first, then more forcefully if I ignore her, she invites me to look at the parts of me which aren’t keeping up with my vibrational expansion. She insists that I become aware of these parts, often ALL of them at once, at an almost psychadelic level of intensity. The same way a hallucinogen can be a teacher, giving precious insights of one’s potential, Kauai is a giant mind altering substance for me which invites me to deeply feel into my greatest dreams and visions and also everything holding me back from experiencing them.

Hence the name… Kauai-Kuan Yin-Kali. Kali is the Hindu mother goddess who delivers fierce love to simulate needed transformation for growth. While her intensity can feel merciless, love is her motivation and her purpose is to serve truth and the higher good. A dose of insight from Kali can sometimes have a bit of a sting… which is why Kauai also asks that you invite another goddess energy into your experience…

Kuan-Yin is the Chinese goddess of mercy and compassion. While Kali’s energy is ruthless and direct, Kuan-Yin’s is soothingly gentle and nurturing. She is an elegant celestial savioress committed to loving humanity into awakening through her soft and warmhearted nectar of protection. She looks after humanity with the cherishing care of a nursing mother.

Kauai-Kali can bring up sadness, fear, inertia and self-criticisms which reminds us to walk always with the awareness of Kauai-Kuan Yin, learning how to nurture ourselves and others with our own endless nectar of understanding, compassion and love.

This is why I keep going back. And also why I can hardly stand to stay more than 20 days at a time! Kauai is an island utterly devoted, in love… even if it is tough love… to helping me realize my highest potential. While I am there it is as if the world is standing still – I feel completely out of space and time from my everyday reality and everyone in it while doing inner work. But then when I return home, the radical difference in vibration, weather, pace of living and natural environment startles. 

Again, I feel Her… the Kauai-Kali awareness of coming home, noticing what is not in alignment. And again, a few days after re-entry into life, the remembrance of Kuan-Yin… the importance of softening, soothing, nurturing, and becoming a healing balm of awakening. And in the days, weeks and months that follow, amazing things happen. Massive changes in my life trajectory which have always unfolded magic and wonderful new directions...

I am so grateful to this mysterious land! Thank you, thank you, thank you Mother Kauai! Thank you for teaching me the art of love and surrennder. Thank you to this land which defies all rational explanation of what is possible, a floating miracle 2,126 miles away in the middle of a vast ocean...

Xoxo

Christabel

 

The Immortality Festival!

This past weekend I drove to Santa Barbara with my dear friend, Iris, to celebrate the birthday of my heroine, Anne Van de Water. Anne is simply amazing. She is a steadfast soul family sister!

What I love about Anne is how gracefully she holds the dynamic tension of so many opposites at once: she is an awakened avatar, disco queen, rocker, kirtan singer, yogini, powerful goddess harnessing both the divine masculine and feminine in balance, not to mention a sexual powerhouse. She has an incredible drive to inhabit her divine nature and evolve, evolve, evolve, while cheering on everyone in her community. She is a generator of LOVELIGHTBLISS and she steps into that role whole-heartedly.

Anne's energy is ferociously loving, her smile transmits oceans of compassion, her thong 80's leotard and polyester legwarmers conveys gutsy playfulness and savage joy. When she speaks, she uses tasty, powerful phrases with potent gems of insight. Her laugh is deep and real. She has a timeless elegance, as if she was from another era, but she can get down like the best of them. She is transparent about her humanity and challenges. She looks for the best in people and affirms their wholeness. She is ruthless about prioritizing the divine truth above all else. It is not everyday you meet a cosmic babe like Anne! She is truly on the leading edge of female evolutionaries!

I love how Anne takes such fantastic care of her body. She is the one who inspired me to forget "waiting till one day when I had a home" and get a sauna now! (She has a sauna in her garage she swears by). She also nurtures her body with lots of raw foods, an at-home elliptical machine, an Athena water purifier, an amythyst Bio Mat, and much, much more. Anne is surrounded by an amazing fleet of guides and cosmic emmisarries which help the energy in her aura to sparkle and shine. She attracts a phenomenal array of visionaries and spiritual luminaries to her side who glow with knowingness and contagious glee. 

In celebration of her big 4-0, Anne threw herself the mack mama of all mack mama parties, which she playfully dubbed, "The Immortality Festival". Having dreamed of running a retreat center for many years, she decided to stop waiting and start doing with what she has now. She cleared up some spaces in her home and repurposed them, purchased 15 yoga mats and cushions and voila, a retreat center right in the comfort of her home. Next, she invited each attendee to offer a 25 minute workshop about their current passion to uplift and energize the group. The day and night consisted of a lineup of Chi-Gung, a Mary Poppins Playshop, Yoga, Acro-Yoga, Chinese Medicine, Gemstone channelling, Divine feminine playshops, energetic matchmaking, money management skills, Feng Shui, Flower Essence Saturation, Ancient Eqyptian High Priestess Annointing, 80's aerobics, kirtan singing, world music performances, a beautiful shamanic fireside ceremony, Dr. Megavot, firedancing and much, much more! She had her friend Trish monitor the time and progression. Meanwhile, people wandered in and out and spent time chatting over the beautiful raw food spread, in the backyard overlooking the city and ocean, or browsing the adornments available in the market created by attendees with gemstones, necklaces, goddess clothing, hair pieces and more.

It was a strict invite only event in the interests of maintaining a super high frequency of intention.  Everyone was invited to attend dressed up as their favorite immortal being. Anne had 6 costume changes throughout the day and it was exciting to watch her continually emerge in new and unexpected ensembles, often complete with matching wigs and heels! All the attendees were amazing people, exceptional in their presence and ability to vessel joy. I knew some from my years in Santa Barbara, and some were new to me, but there was an instant feeling of family which was wonderful. The day was full of laughter, a-has, fun and adventure. I taught my first Goddess Blossom playshop and it was so much fun, and I left feeling overwhelmed with inspiration, courage and focus.

What I've taken from this experience is the desire to deepen my divine presence, my anchoring of divine energy, my community of cosmic feminine luminaries, my spiritual practice and commitment to moving to the next level of my life mission. My mind has also been opened to leading co-ed workshops as there was men in the playshop I led and it was beautiful to behold the divine masculine in honor of the divine feminine...Im am also inspired to approach and celebrate my upcoming birthday in a whole new way, gathering together people in a shared intention to create forward momentum and inspiration for all of us. It is  beautiful to think of growing older in years as an opportunity to celebrate becoming more eternally youthful and immortal at the same time! I am so thankful for the beauty, bliss, play, wonder, love and bright light! I feel so lucky! Thank you! 

I love you, Anne!

Beach Musings

Sun baked

glossy wet

shining chocolate skin

my African heritage gets kudos

i love this bronzing

this royal cacao hue

earthy, delicious, dark

thank you!

***

it's luminous and slick

salty and moist

hot to touch

i feel like a golden brown gemstone

shining with flecks of magic opalescence

imbued with solar luminosity

my gemmy layers sparkle!

***

my metaphysical properties?

i stimulate radiance

i activate angelic communication

i am a channelling stone

gleaming brightly

i hold starshine

speed inter-dimensional travel

enhance sensuality

i teach that your essence is divine!

Deep Healing in Hawaii

Rain is pouring outside, washing away. It has been long days of sunshine, sand, ocean waves and reflection. I'm staying in a gorgeous 4 bedroom beach house across the street from crystal clear waters. Everyone in this town is very nice and has been very welcoming. I've been walking miles each day for fresh squeezed juices and delicious organic foods... fresh seafood has also been wonderful at a resturant just steps away. I've been nurturing myself with elixers, angelplay and lightbody meditations... reading my Theta healing book and getting sessions from my dear friend, Dawn Light. Warmth abounds! The sun has been bright and nourishing. My skin has already taken on a rich, dark hue and I'm feeling quite exotic. 

Meanwhile, I've been cleaning house - my inner house that is. I'm noticing how it feels to be saturated in my vibration~ living my by own rhythm and intuition. I'm having "a-ha's" about soul fragments I am ready to receive back. I'm noticing some shiny new beliefs I would like to integrate. I'm getting clear about the next steps of my planetary purpose. And of course, I'm apprenticing to love: how to love more fully and authentically. It's a wild archeology dig of self-discovery!

I've had 3 people tell me in the last week that they had dreams of me being pregnant. I think it is true! I am birthing myself anew. There is a heat and passion bubbling up in me which feels exciting and new. Things are shifting and changing... who is this person I am becoming? I can't wait to see what unfolds...

Meanwhile, here are some affirmations I am playing with:

*I attract divinely inspired, radiant beings who uplevel my vibratory frequency with love and joy!

*I am surrounded by legions of angels who infuse me with luminosity!

*I am the source of my love!

*I soften and allow my sweetness~

*I transmit beauty and light to everything and everyone!

* I nurture my ability to be compassionate, nurturing, affectionate and tender~

*I love being a sacred temple!

*I see others with Creator's eyes: everywhere is all beauty, grace and wholeness

*I love deeply and purely from the heart of God!

*I breathe sparkles of light!

*I transmit the magical vibration of Hawaii everywhere I go~

Autumn Equinox~ An Opportunity for Balance

Today at 2:19pm will be one of the two most balanced times of the whole year for our planet and our bodies! Many ancient peoples who lived in "natural time", that is, in alignment with the cosmological rhythms of our planet, considered the Autumn Equinox a special moment because there are exactly 12 hours of daylight and darkness. It is known by many names, such as "The Festival of Dionysus", "Mea'n Fo'mhair", "Feast of Avalon" and many more. The Fall Equinox is considered a time of pause for relaxation, reflection upon the fruits of the harvest and also a moment to consider the dimming sunlight to come and what that means. It is a great time to clean up old unfinished business and then celebrate in a lavish way!

To celebrate I will be taking a walk in the woods and bringing home a pinecone~ said to represent spiritual regeneration, fruitfulness and eternal life in cultures from Egypt to Greece to Mexico. I will also attend a mellow yoga class with Kendra Presley (who plays the harp and sings while teaching! beautiful!) to literally gain a sense of balance. I will also finish up some laundry and cleaning and office work which is asking for closure. In between will be lots of time for reflection...

Questions I will be asking myself include: 

* What is asking for more balance in my life?

* Are my finances in balance? How can align them?

* Which relationships are the most balanced and nourishing and how can I nurture them more?

* Is my day balanced between work and play, exercise and sitting?

* Is my body experiencing balance with enough nutrients, sleep, water and movement?

* What can I do to bring my emotions into balance?

* What am I giving to the world to help contribute to planetary balance?

* Am I using words and thinking thoughts which are creating balance in my life?

* How can I balance speaking and not speaking?

* How to I lovingly recover when I loose my own balance in any way? 

* How can I be present for those in my life who have lost their balance?

* How can I prioritize the creation of daily routines which support my balance?

Enjoy the beautiful day! It is a wonderful moment to be alive. 

The Precious Moment...

 

Today was a day of bliss~ ecstatic dance in the morning, lunch and wandering with Brecken, indulgence at Prepare for the Playa and brief visitations with JennaLuna, Annie and Cory, lounging and hooping at Delores Park with Khan, Victor, and Rich, and a chat with Amy, and a glorious 4 hour joyous kirtan across the street from my home at Clear Center for Health...

I am filled to the brim. I ended the day already feeling divine and radiant. So walking into the vortex of sonic love at Clear was just one more step up the vibrational scale to a place of yumminess! It was wonderful to see Iris, Cara, Robert and Camilla and other new familiar faces as well... Mukti music was amazing and beautiful and the lead singer was a young enchanting dove... but the best for me was communing with the ALL through my voice and dance.

There is a quality which emerges amongst heartfelt kirtan.  It is indescribable. After the harmonics and frequencies of Sanskrit words which, like keys, open portals of awareness, when the end of a mantra approaches and the volume dims, a magical thing begins to happen. As the silence grows louder, it feels like the air in the room has become supercharged. All my senses get heightened. My skin is super-aware. My breathing feels rich and luscious. There are what feels like particles of light infusing the entire space which deeply nourish my body. We have arrived.

This is the precious moment. After all the singing and dancing and smiles and joy and love in movement and sound, these end moments of silence are the end product which I savor above all else. You could hear a pin drop. I love it when singers milk that moment. When they hold space like grounded mountains that stand silent for thousands of years and use their own focused stillness to anchor the energies of the whole group. In my minds eye, I visualize the sparkling particles surrounding us all, bathing us in pure, healing, divine cosmic Presence. Ah, beauty, beauty, beauty!

Om Shanti!

Thank you!

A Wonderful New Moon Day In the Vortex

Today was a beautiful day. I awoke from vivid dreams with my smoky quartz crystal from Mt. Shasta clutched in my hands. (I love sleeping with crystals! I always find my dreams and more intense and my sleep is more restorative). I lay in my bed and appreciated the many things I love about my home and life. My mind lingered with wonder on the story structure for a new novel which I had written until the wee hours the night before. Finally! The spiritual adventure narrative which has wanted to emerge from me for years is taking shape. It felt so nice to lie there and appreciate it. 

Next, I arose and went down my ladder to the main area and wrote my money-game entry for day #58. This is a community email game amongst a large group of Abraham friends I have where we each share news with each other about how we are spending the $1000x day number for the day. We also share things like" "5 reasons I can state emphatically that well-being abounds", t"he essence for what I am reaching for in spending this money is", "today I believe I can manifest", "today i want to see", "wouldn't it be nice if", "today I want to feel..." etc. So I sat down for 20 minutes and let my imagination percolate with the visualization of having received $58,000! It was fun and generated a wonderful glow to begin the day. It got me thinking about exotic travels to Egypt to study ancient mysteries, starseed awakenings and initiations, indulgent hot springs retreats at Esalen and also about giving 10 of my closest friends each a sauna as a surprise gift...

Next I went to yoga. It was challenging but also rewarding to feel my body stretch and build strength.I feel so lucky to have a monthly pass to Yoga Works. The teachers are so fantastic and it feels so wonderful to practice every day and know that I can take as many classes as I like! Next I went to my amazing chiropractor and got an adjustment. I had some deep realizations about my neck tension resulting from resisting sharing my deeper life's work and truths. It felt good to gain awareness, recognize it and allow it to pass.

I swung by the nursery and got a six pack of organic collards, a six pack of organic purple chard, a bag of dirt, some planters and a spade. Got home, and took out 4 heads of kale out of the refrigerator and whipped up some kale chips while listening to Abraham CDs. While they began dehydrating, I planted all the new greens on my porch, moved my indoor plants around in my apartment and starting imagining how I could move things to help the energy flow smoother. I moved my altar around. I swept all the floors and did all the dishes. I cleaned out the fireplace and swept it clean. I took my vitamins, checked my email and posted online ads for things I wanted to sell to pass on to others who would use them. 

I had lunch with a dear friend moving in next door in my complex and talked about color therapy. I Revised my novel structure a bit. I created a collage with photos of pyramids, rainbows, crystals, galaxies and other amazing images to put on the front of my focus wheel binder. Next I went to an Abraham group meeting where 14 people gathered to share insights about the work and share materials. Just got home!! 

What a great day! Enjoying this flow of nurturing...  Everything is unfolding in divine time... now it's time for a sauna!

A Few of the Many Things I Appreciated Today

Here are a few of the many things I appreciated today!

-Having taken the time to begin the day with basking!

-Having such a wonderfully comfortable bed

-Having soft and cuddly flannel sheets

-Having done the dishes and put away laundry the night before so everything was tidy

-Having such a great wardrobe which makes me feel beautiful

-Having an apartment with wood beam ceilings

-Having so many amazing friends

-A family who loves me

-An amazing amount of freedom to do what I love

-Being lucky enough to teach hoopdance for a living

-Having the opportunity to live alone, focus on growth and healing

-Having such a superstar bookkeeper 

-Having such a wonderfully responsible new office manager

-Having such amazing teachers on staff

-Having had the opportunity to study in depth with Abraham

-The opportunity to sit in the front row during my studies

-The opportunity to sit in the hot seat and ask questions!

-Upleveling my vibration 

-Having had the opportunity to attend Mystic Garden Party

-The anticipation of attending Beloved Festival!

-The opportunity to live in Mill Valley

-Being able to teach at a beautiful studio 2 blocks from my house

-Having an iPhone which makes my life easier

-Having a laptop which makes my life easier

-Having access to internet which exposes me to ideas and connects me to people

-Having a sweet office in Mill Valley

-Having a deeper understanding of love than ever in my life

-Having a car which works!

-Spring water which is delivered to my house

-A storage space to stow some extra things

-A parking space at my apartment!

-Access to amazing essential oils which have accelerated my healing

-Having great wooden dresser from Ikea which works great 

-Fun collages on the wall which remind me of my Vortex

-Fantastic art on the walls which is uplifting

-Having mountain trails so close by

-Having a sauna!

-Having a Qi-Bounder!

-Being able to shift my focus of attention easily through pivoting

-Having a yoga studio 5 minutes away with great teachers

-Having a monthly unlimited yoga class pass!

-Having a fireplace

-Having great kitchen appliances like a Vitamixer and dehydrator

-Starting the day with 3 focus wheels

-Drinking my green smoothie with fresh chard

-The bright gorgeous sunshine beaming in my windows

-The balmy warm weather

-The joy of being a teacher of students who are passionate to learn...

Deer Visitation

 

This morning as I was walking the Dipsea steps listening to a Solar Radiance meditation, a giant buck jumped across right in front of me! It landed on the other side, scrambled on the rocky, steep slope, and then stopped, turned it's giant antlered head and looked right at me. The antlers looked almost fuzzy and they were massive and it's eyes were so big and dark and glittery. Then it ambled away.

I stood stark still and just stared at it, wondering what message it had for me. Attunement? Gentleness? Innocene? Freshness?

I believe in the value of signs and symbols as they appear in daily life. I trust the Universe to lead and advise me in valuable ways! The meaning of this deer for me, this morning? I think it is time to shower myself in gentle love and allow new adventures! In response to this... I've decided to try at least one new thing every day as far into the future as I can...

Today: I will go to my new local library, get a card and order/check out a book I saw at the airport which looked interesting about networking called, "Never Eat Alone". I will also go to the comedy club next door to my house this evening after doing some laughter yoga exercises here in my apartment for 15 minutes beforehand. 

Rampage of Appreciation for Esalen

I am so grateful for Esalen~ 

I love the abundance of mineral pools overlooking the Pacific Ocean! I love sitting in the water and watching it swirl around me. I love feeling the steam on my face. I love how soft and clear the mineral water makes my skin. I adore the deep, penetrating heat of the water which warms me to the bones and beyond. I love that the water comes up to my neck and completely surrounds me. I love letting my mind wander while inhaling and exhaling. I love imagining while soaking. I love it when poetry magically enters my mind. I love the coolness of the air on my skin while the heat of the water warms my body. I love it when I realize I have been in the water for over an hour and lost all track of time!

I really, really appreciate all the wonderful conversations I have in the tubs. It is so fascinating to meet people from all walks of life, all ages, all backgrounds and hear about their consciousness raising workshops and musings. I appreciate the quiet times when no one speaks and the raucaus times when everyone laughs and talks loudly with excitement.

I love the ocean, dark - almost black in color - rolling in and out in powerful currents. It is amazing to watch the waves crash against rocks andsend spray high into the air. I really feel like I am overlooking a powerful force of nature, an infinite expanse of powerful presence. I love imagining all the life living in the water. I love seeing whales, dolphins and sea lions! It is mesmerizing to observe the flocks of gulls and other birds swooping and soaring and flying in formation. I love looking at the horizon and seeing the clouds in the sky. I love when sunrays appear! I am fed by watching the mountains and cliffs and all the natural beauty of rock formations. It is such a blessing.

I am thankful for the land here. I love thinking of all the leading-edge metaphysicians who have done work and events here, helping to imbue the land with even more resonance. I love thinking of the native people who lived here before and how they lived their lives. I like walking the gardens, drawing in the art barn, sitting on benches overlooking the water, and even reading in bed. I love when I am so tired I just fall asleep and nap for hours.

The food is amazing! I love that so much of it is grown me right before my eyes. It is spectacular to taste such lovingly prepared meals and to savor the unique flavors and textures. It is a delight to meet so manynew friends at the tables and hear such inspiring ideas.

The massages here are amazing as well! I am so grateful for the development of the Esalen style and how much it nourishes my body.

Overall, I love the feeling of being in a sanctuary. I love being held lovingly by the land, water and people. I appreciate that people take time every day here to consciously create a feeling of wellbeing and goodness. I appreciate the art, the resources, the beauty and the love.  Thank you!